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Saturday, 27 October 2012

[ ..あの.. ]



You know what? Screw all the uncertainties and insecurity!

What's wrong with me! I'm doing good, right? What makes me think that my life is miserable? I mean, how many of 23-year-olds who earn as much as I do right now, especially with zero qualifications?

How many of them can actually make a travel plan to expensive countries like Japan for once a year! How many of them can even have as much fun as I do at work? 

I don't know what's wrong with me. What do I want more? I'm doing so great. My boss likes me, my colleagues accept me, I have so much fun doing different things everyday than being stuck in a typical 9 to 5 job, my house is peaceful and quiet, my cat absolutely love me and I still have so much more in the future for me.

What's this melancholia harbouring around me all the time? What do you want from me? Nobody is perfect. I can't be perfect! So, just leave me alone !

This freaking black hole of depression has always been there for years but can someone tell me how to get rid of it completely?

I mean, come on! I should be happy, I CAN be happy but it makes me feel terrible most of the time. It makes me think that I'm worthless! I'm not worthless, am I? I'm not!

 So, why melancholia has to creep up to me all the time?

Sure, I don't have as many friends as most people do, but I have true friends now who may not understand me as much as I would love to, but they are damn supportive friends and they NEVER judge me at all.

So, what do I want more in life? I have real friends for the first time ever and I still complain about it? Come on! Wake the fuck up!

My family is far from being averagely perfect but it has been that way and it will stay that way. So no point for me to care anymore.

I'm just so damn fucking happy today. And I can tell you why. Because it was pay day yesterday and oh my, I realised how numbers can make one so happy.

I'm just so fucking glad that I'm so financially secure right now that I don't have to worry the fuck about anything. And I can easily make a trip to any where I want right now because of that money.

Sure, I don't own a fancy car or a big expensive apartment. That's your priority, not mine. My priority is to travel the world and I am so fucking happy that I can do that easily now.

You can be your usual sheltered frog, and I can be my flying bird.

:: stitched on` ::*|15:06|

:: [0] care[s] ::

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:: ..it is me.. ::
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suwas.jpg
Ailurophile. Irascible. Desultory. Furtive.

Me

:: ..Type Here.. ::
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:: ..pages i stalk.. ::
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..queen of mushrooms..
..best page on earth..


:: ..Tick Tock.. :: --------------------------------------

:: ..Calender 2013.. ::

June
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::..Wishes.. ::
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~ eternal financial stability, bitch
~ Tokyo solo 2013
~ to Japan, I go for second time!
~ to Japan, I go!
~ Canon G12
~ Superheadz Ultra Wide and Slim!
~ Superheadz Golden Half!
~ new camera!
~ a studio home
~ publish a novel/short stories compilation


:: ..Crédits.. ::
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Blog Désign: Michiika
Photo: SuuwaXSupatenshi