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Saturday, 13 October 2012

[ ..あめ.. ]

Something pretty to start another wall of text.

I notice that the walls of text you often see here exudes depression, however if you see me, talk to me in real life, I'm not exactly like that.

I think the internet brings the negative side of you because you can easily 'talk' to the internet about your feelings and such.

It certainly brings the negative in me here. But do note, the wall of text you always see here are probably written by yours truly in less than ten minutes of boredom and deep thoughts.

Most of the time, I'm not exactly a walking corpse.

Just think of it this way. The internet me, is just a persona. It doesn't really mean that the real life me is 99% the same as this persona right here. In fact, it's probably just about 10% me here.

In real life, I am one who smile and laugh and talk about crazy irrelevant things all the time. If I can find a word to describe myself, I think it would be jovial. However, it doesn't mean I do not have a bitchy side. I can get annoyed at things and people that I wouldn't stop talking how annoyed I'm feeling at that moment.

The point is, if you think that I am living a miserable life right now, you are wrong.

From your point of view, you see me as someone who is lonely and sad all the time. It's not really like that.

I feel lonely at times and I write about how I feel here in about 500 to 800 words. It takes me ten to 15 minutes of writing and as soon as I finished, I'm back to talking nonsense and laughing with my colleagues.

If you think I am a miserable loveless spinster, you are once again wrong. My family loves me. Nothing can replace my cat's love to me. Of course I feel lonely without a significant other, sometimes. But that doesn't mean I spend the whole day or month or year thinking about how miserable I am without a significant other.

I can function pretty well without a significant other, you know?

Then, you might think that I am some what of a specimen that money can't buy you happiness, then once again my dear, you are wrong.

Maybe money can't really buy you happiness, but my oh my, money can buy me some real happiness.

For instance, for the past 13 months I'd been to Japan twice. Not with my parents' money. Not with my inheritance. But with my hard earned money that I saved throughout the  two years since I started working. I even brought my dad to Japan with my own cash. What about that for a 23 year-old?

If I am actually feeling miserable about my life right now, I would be the worse person on earth. The real me here is extremely proud that I made it thus far. And is feeling better than ever.

You think that I'm a miserable fool? Please.

People tend to judge others as soon as they see them the first time. After they talked to them for one hour, they think they know a world about this or that person.

If you haven't seen me for the past year, please don't try to make any judgement about me. You do not know me well enough to look down on me.

I am as happy as I can be. I have a future to look forward to. I have my dream vacations laid out. I have a cat who will love me unconditionally and will never cheat on me (hah!). I have my car who brings me wherever I want to go. I have my family by my side all the time. I have friends who will not judge me. I have great colleagues and the best boss in the region. I have a bed I can sleep on every night.

Most of all, I have myself intact, both physically and mentally. I may have a low self-esteem problem but it never stopped me from realising my dreams.

But with all these said, you can still look down on me if you want. However, do think properly if you have the right to look down on me or create stories about me.

Go do something good with your own lives before you even try to take a look at mine.

To you, lurkers.

:: stitched on` ::*|01:21|

:: [0] care[s] ::


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:: ..it is me.. ::
Ailurophile. Irascible. Desultory. Furtive.


:: ..Type Here.. ::

:: ..pages i stalk.. ::
..queen of mushrooms..
..best page on earth..

:: ..Tick Tock.. :: --------------------------------------

:: ..Calender 2013.. ::


::..Wishes.. ::
~ eternal financial stability, bitch
~ Tokyo solo 2013
~ to Japan, I go for second time!
~ to Japan, I go!
~ Canon G12
~ Superheadz Ultra Wide and Slim!
~ Superheadz Golden Half!
~ new camera!
~ a studio home
~ publish a novel/short stories compilation

:: ..Crédits.. ::
Blog Désign: Michiika
Photo: SuuwaXSupatenshi