I feel terrible today. I don't usually feel this bad. I'd been quite a happy person for a while now. As I'm typing away an article at the office, I couldn't help but wept silently.
I'd felt this way before. Two years ago, I felt the same. Stuck. I don't know how to advance. I don't know how to move forward. I'm stuck.
I feel like I belong to the world. All over the world. Experiencing the world. But I'm stuck here. Unmoving. And I feel sad not because I couldn't move, but rather, I do not dare to move.
I am stuck because I'm afraid that I am wrong. I'm afraid that once I move, I will find out that I don't belong to the world after all. Or worse, the world has no place for someone like me.
I'm just really sad today. I hope I'll feel better tomorrow. I really do. For now, I'll just try to remember how nice the gyoza I made.
It's not much but whenever I succeed in something at first try, I feel happy. I want to be happy.