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Monday, 14 May 2012

[ ..spider webs.. ]

Self-pity. I have too much of it.

It's not difficult to admit really. I am one person who lavish all attention on myself simply because nobody ever does that to me. Hahahaha

Very very often, when I listen to my colleagues complains, I will automatically think "Meh, that's can't be worse than the problem I am having now."

That is very much the wrong way to look at things. Because that's just too much self-pity. 

Then another problem of mine is that, I always say "Ah, I can't be bothered with other people's problems' when my colleagues complain to me about theirs. But, I do complain about my problems to them. wtf

I am too selfish. I like to complain but I don't like to listen to complains of others, except the very few people in my  life.

Really , I think the reason why I don't like listening to it because I am not competent enough to solve their problems. And it's such a nuisance to listen. But it never occurred to me that I am being a nuisance to others too when I complain.

I am an extremely flawed human being.

But that's no excuse yo! I know, I know. I am trying to learn. I do try. I still am trying to do better.

How do you become a perfect human being? You don't. You just be a less flawed human being.

I do try very hard. But most of the time the evil subconscious self of mine just kill it for me. My evil subconscious self is especially recurrent during working hours. Because SHE took over me during my busiest hours of the day.

You know what I need? I need discipline. Which I used to have, about two years ago. The times when I go to work at 8am. The times when I can produce two articles before 12noon.

Now I can barely write one a day. That's just really bad.

Whatever happened to that enthusiastic suwa? Did money changed her? Well, that's a definite.

That is why I need discipline now. I can't have money change me that easily. And it's not like I am super rich now or anything. I'm contented with what I can afford now. Which is great.

But I get proud way too easily, especially around my colleagues. That is even worse.

I need to keep my pride in check daily. I need to remind myself that I am not the only one with problems.

I should try my best to be a better listener. Really, I need to be a better listener to others. I can't be yapping around all the time and not let others have their chance to at least breathe in some fresh air.

Phew... I need to have some fun. And not be so tensed up all the time. Phewwww...

One week passed, now the third week of May is starting. Times passes by so fast. Lets cherish each moment. :D


:: stitched on` ::*|01:54|

:: [0] care[s] ::

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:: ..it is me.. ::
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suwas.jpg
Ailurophile. Irascible. Desultory. Furtive.

Me

:: ..Type Here.. ::
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:: ..pages i stalk.. ::
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..queen of mushrooms..
..best page on earth..


:: ..Tick Tock.. :: --------------------------------------

:: ..Calender 2013.. ::

June
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::..Wishes.. ::
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~ eternal financial stability, bitch
~ Tokyo solo 2013
~ to Japan, I go for second time!
~ to Japan, I go!
~ Canon G12
~ Superheadz Ultra Wide and Slim!
~ Superheadz Golden Half!
~ new camera!
~ a studio home
~ publish a novel/short stories compilation


:: ..Crédits.. ::
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