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Sunday, 29 April 2012

[ ..emptiness.. ]

Human beings are such complicated creatures. There are way too many ranges of emotions in a shell of a human being that these emotions are enough to make one and another crazy.

If a person is only allowed to have two emotions at most... wouldn't it be simpler that way?

Humans with the dramatic range of emotions ought to be slaughtered. That is because dramatic people tend to ruin everyone else's lives.

My life, oh my life, has been ruined by not one dramatic person, but two and three and four and so on.

Everyone has their own dysfunctional family. I don't even know how to categorise mine because it's so complicated. And I grew up wanting things to be simple.

Because the people in my family like to make things complicated.

And I've had enough of complications. All I want in life is  happiness. And I guess, simplicity.

I am a very selfish human being. Yes, I admit that. I live for my own. The only persons I would like to indulge my life in is probably my dad and my cousin sis. And maybe mom too, depends on how she behaves. My mom is such a child.

I am so tired of dealing with complicated people.

I am so tired of having people questioning me all the time.

I am so tired of having people who likes to have emotional outbursts every two seconds around me.

I don't want to care about other people's problems except for dad's and my cousin sis's. That's all.

I am cold. Yes, I do admit that I am a very cold person. I do things my way. I say things that I personally think there is nothing wrong to it. I am very very cold.

I can be rather inhumane towards human beings. Oh the irony. I probably treat animals better than I treat human beings.

I don't want to be controlled. I don't want to be lectured by people. I don't want to be questioned all the time.

Is it really so hard to attain happiness, freedom and independence? A place where I can say what I want without having these melodramatic people having emotional outbursts at what I say?

I am so sick of these people really.

Tired and sick. I don't want anything to do with people who in serious need of emotional outbursts management.

If screaming, crying outloud and shouting at everyone can solve all the problems then, all the wars in the world do not need any armors and weapons. They will just need a loudspeaker.

Gee golly, what kind of world am I living in. Is it a crime to have lack of emotions? Do everyone need to be so darn expressive?

I just want to be able to act like a proper human being. I am very logical.

I won't scream at anyone. I won't cry out loud my emotions. I won't shout to the telephone. Because none of those can solve the problem. If those can do anything, it will probably make the situation worse than before.

I have enough of dealing with all the stupid people in this world.

Day after day I tell myself that everything will be better. I am going to be a happier person tomorrow than today.

These people talk about being hurt, but did they ever thought of my feelings before? Have they asked "How are you?" before? Have they cared about me before?

Has my existence been acknowledged at all?

I'm tired. I don't want to think anymore.

Now, it's time for me to pack things up again.

Hi, I am suwa. I'm 23 and I have moved 5 times in this city since I came here 4 years ago. Life's been great to me and I'm looking forward to the future every single day. 

:: stitched on` ::*|18:25|

:: [0] care[s] ::


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:: ..it is me.. ::
Ailurophile. Irascible. Desultory. Furtive.


:: ..Type Here.. ::

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:: ..Tick Tock.. :: --------------------------------------

:: ..Calender 2013.. ::


::..Wishes.. ::
~ eternal financial stability, bitch
~ Tokyo solo 2013
~ to Japan, I go for second time!
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~ a studio home
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