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Saturday, 22 October 2011

[ ..five days.. ]

Got three days off from my office for next week. This gives me a five-day weekend and I am glad to be granted such privilege.

Tomorrow I heading back home town with my sister. Both of us just want to get out from the city badly. I don't really detest the city, or does she. We just couldn't stand being here some times and we couldn't even give you any reasons.

You see, I really have nothing to whine about, really. Work hasn't been a burden. Life at home is as comfortable as always. Cat became clingier for some reason, but there is nothing to complain about that.

For two years, I cared nothing about my office politics. I don't even care who quits or who joins. People in the office never really mattered to me except for a few of them.

Things changed when some one joined my section lately. Honestly, I wouldn't give a fuck as I usually would. But a close colleague of mine wouldn't stop telling me stuff about her. Her bad, mostly. I rarely hear anything good about her.

I had been trying my best not to be a judgmental person for two years now. I am a terribly judgmental person and I am trying my best to change. I had finally achieved the level where I do not think badly of anyone, everyone at first, try my best not to notice a person's flaw but when I couldn't take the level of illogical minds anymore, I leave.

But when one person keeps poisoning me things about another person, without me knowing that person very well, I had an itch to bitch about the the other person too because from what I'd heard and witnessed, this person is really problematic.

I had been raging so badly this past month that I don't think I can continue raging anymore. I had enough problems in my brain to actually care about another human being who doesn't really matter.

I found the reason why I had been raging. It is mostly because of that close colleague of mine who kept telling me about that other person. I never bitched about other colleague with another colleague before, and this is the first one.

The amount of emotional abuse I gave myself for this past month is so aggravating that I thought I had really lost my mind. I lost my concentration. I kept giving myself unanswered questions. Drowning myself with 'What if's.

I don't want to think anymore. I don't want to care anymore. I don't want to get involve anymore. It is none of my business in the first place, why tell me about things that are not connected to me?

I just need my time and my space. I just need my little working cubicle and that's it. I don't ask for more in life. I only want to be safe and comfortable. I have no more ambitions in my life and nothing else matters to me.

I have nothing more to say. So, good night and good bye. See you again next week. Sorry for such abrupt end. I don't think my apologies matters anyway because nobody is ever here.

My voice, my typing will never be heard.

Will never be heard. 

:: stitched on` ::*|04:17|

:: [0] care[s] ::


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:: ..it is me.. ::
Ailurophile. Irascible. Desultory. Furtive.


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:: ..Calender 2013.. ::


::..Wishes.. ::
~ eternal financial stability, bitch
~ Tokyo solo 2013
~ to Japan, I go for second time!
~ to Japan, I go!
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~ Superheadz Golden Half!
~ new camera!
~ a studio home
~ publish a novel/short stories compilation

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