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Tuesday, 9 August 2011

[ ..time.. ]

Busy busy busy. Really wanted to write but never seem to be able to find the time. Time is scarce for me nowadays. So many things to settle, so many things to handle, so many things to finish doing.

I find myself heading back to hometown more often lately. The city had become too much for me at times. I just want to be able to go back and not think about work or people. I just want to spend some time getting my head straight and get my priorities right.

In the city, I can never find the time to think properly. I couldn't figure things out or solve problems. As I sit in my teenage room, I find solace and serenity that can let me just figure things out. How I am going to do this, or which one should I approach first.

I said one too many times that I often go with the flow and let things unfold by itself. But I cannot deny that I am also a rigid planner. I like to plan. I find planning soothing. It's just like others who find cleaning the house or doing the laundry therapeutic. Planning is therapeutic to me.

As I sat there planning the routes and analysing different train stations and commute lines for a coming up travel trip, I find myself not fussing over it or did I feel like giving up and hopeless. I felt like I'm sitting in the train already, passing through stations, searching for platforms and changing trains to reach my destination.

I felt happy and want to learn more about trains and routes and destinations.

I realised, most of the time when I feel lost and hopeless, it's because I was never given the time to sit down, breathe and think about things. Plan it through. Things happen too quick and uncontrollably these days. I couldn't analyse through things or plan how I am going to solve them.

Time passed too fast. I feel as if I couldn't catch up with it and it will eventually leave me behind.

Time passes like trains. They wait for no one. Once you get on the wrong train, it will lead you to a wrong destination that you never wished for. But if you missed the train, you will be left behind and your schedule will be ruined. Even if you take the right train on the next ride, your mistake will still be accountable for. You will never reach your destination on time and thus, missed out on some things that might affect your life.

That is why you need to plan for the right train at the right time. Life cannot afford a single mistake. You have to choose your destination and the time that is most suitable to board -wisely.

I don't want to be left behind. I want to get on the right track. I want to reach my destinations. I'd seen people older than me who made such mistakes. Some made it through. Some chose the wrong train and got lost in the maze of train tracks. I don't want to be like the latter ones.

I don't need a grand welcoming party when I reach my destination. All I want is my cat and my parents to greet me there. Telling me that they are proud of me for making it through the journey.

I need more time. Let me slow down a little. Let me catch up with things. Let me breathe again.

:: stitched on` ::*|17:39|

:: [0] care[s] ::

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:: ..it is me.. ::
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Ailurophile. Irascible. Desultory. Furtive.

Me

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:: ..Calender 2013.. ::

June
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::..Wishes.. ::
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~ eternal financial stability, bitch
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