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Thursday, 25 August 2011

[ ..empty reading.. ]

I'd just finished reading my blog posts for this year. I didn't realise how negative I was for the past seven months and apparently I still am.

I had, of course, been through happy times and moments this year. But for some reasons, the loom of darkness that eludes from my blog reminds me of my unhappy times. Maybe I shouldn't have read any at all.

What I realise is that I emit my negative energy through my writings. I find it a little difficult to tell people about my own problems or the real emotions anymore. I may rant about other people or things that happened around me, but I never really tell anyone what's going on inside my head anymore.

Well, except maybe through my twitter where I have complete freedom to say what I feel. But still, strangers lurks through the tiniest openings and I still find myself not being honest to anyone, including myself.

Can I live through my own lies and cover-ups anymore? Should I search for help? Should I speak up? Should I open up my problems to anyone?

Sadly, the only living thing I trust in this world now is my cat.

Human beings are the ugliest creatures on earth. None of us are genuinely nice. We all have the necessary and unnecessary evil within us. There isn't anyone who I can fully trust anymore.

Once again, I fell into the black hole and trying to fight my way out to see the bright sun light again.

It's a grim, grim world.

I wish to speak but I think writing my feelings out are better. At least, people can choose to read it or not. They can always skip my tweets or just don't read my blog.

For now, I can only smile my ways through my daily lives. Who doesn't like to see a smiling person, even if it's a fake smile?

:: stitched on` ::*|03:31|

:: [0] care[s] ::


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:: ..it is me.. ::
Ailurophile. Irascible. Desultory. Furtive.


:: ..Type Here.. ::

:: ..pages i stalk.. ::
..queen of mushrooms..
..best page on earth..

:: ..Tick Tock.. :: --------------------------------------

:: ..Calender 2013.. ::


::..Wishes.. ::
~ eternal financial stability, bitch
~ Tokyo solo 2013
~ to Japan, I go for second time!
~ to Japan, I go!
~ Canon G12
~ Superheadz Ultra Wide and Slim!
~ Superheadz Golden Half!
~ new camera!
~ a studio home
~ publish a novel/short stories compilation

:: ..Crédits.. ::
Blog Désign: Michiika
Photo: SuuwaXSupatenshi