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Wednesday, 30 March 2011

[ ..why do blog posts need titles?.. ]

I always know that I have the best boss in the world. I don't think I will ever be able to find a boss as good as the one I have right now. I know he has to be the best boss in the world because he can tolerate my behaviour and my laziness this way. If I have any other boss, I might have my bum fried and toss into the bin by the second week I'm at work.

I am not the best worker. Or am I the most diligent one. I come to work late, I stayed until 9pm but I do not submit any articles to him at all in the whole day. This working attitude of mine has been around since last year. If I'm the boss, I would kill myself and handcuff me to the keyboard until I finish all my work.

My lateness is also one of the biggest problem. For a year, I went to work sharp at 8am (office starts at 9am), but I enjoyed my earliness. I spend my entire morning cleaning my table, making my working environment more comfortable then only I start doing what I need to do. In one day I could write up to three to four articles. I hand in all of them by 5pm and I went home by 5.30pm or 6pm. That is why the first year I was working I was able to enjoy murtabak in the fasting months.

By second year, I did not need to fetch my mom to the nursery to work anymore and I started to go to work late. But because I go to work a little later than my usual 7.30am (which has minimum traffic jam), I then have to endure almost an hour jam to work. It pissed me off immensely. That is why I started to get to work at 10am and arrive at 10.30am or so.

Then the hour got later. and later. and later. And right now, my latest time to work is 2.45pm. I know my colleagues realised that but some how, none of them decided to say anything to me.

Lateness is one thing, but as if late to work is not enough, I barely do anything during work hour except from surfing the internet and looking at reddit.

My boss and second boss often rushed me for my articles and because they often want the article the minute they asked from me, I will have to churn out a 700 words long article in an hour or two, which makes me no time or whatsoever to compose a good article. Whatever came out from the an hour or two, are often pieces of shit that needs editing ten thousand times over.

I feel so guilty of laziness and lateness. But somehow..... my boss never said anything about me being late or lazy. He never nagged, he never scolded me, he never got angry. Well, except for that one time he hinted to me to be punctual, but then i was punctual for a week then relapse to my erm 'normal' hour. wtf.

For some reasons, he never asked me to see him in the meeting room, to lecture me about my lateness and my laziness and my horrible deteriorating grammar. He just never did. When he did my yearly report, he never mentioned it too, to my surprise. He was more concentrated on my writing than my working hours or my laziness. And the thing that made me feel like shit is when he said that I am on my way to be a fully-fledged journalist. I was happy of course, yet I feel so guilty and really wanna kill myself at that moment.

I feel like I disappointed him although he never said so. I am still shocked that nobody has the intention to fire my ass yet. I am even more surprise when everyone really treated me so well in this company and really accept me as one of them, while I still feel so out of place until now.

If I am the boss I really would just fire myself in the matter of weeks coz i suck at my job! All I did was eat a hell lot at events and sit in the office like a jack ass.

Why oh why am I so lucky to be hired while I have no qualifications and be hired by such a great great boss? Sometimes I feel so embarrassed when I realised that they actually paid me to write for them. Sigh. I feel so guilty and embarrassed.

Why my boss so nice?! I don't understand! Not that I want him to be otherwise, but seriously! How can anyone stand my behaviour at work?

For instance, he told me that today I had two assignments and after the first assignment i realised that the second assignment was actually tomorrow. I alerted him and he said sorry to me wtf. Then I told him that i will be back after dinner to submit an article to him and he said Thank You.

WHY did you say thank you?!!!!!!!! It's my job!!!!! And that article is so overdue! I should be the one who said sorry and thank you for giving me a chance to complete it tonight! WHY MY BOSS SAID THANK YOU AND SORRY TO ME?! WTF?!

I feel even more guilty today.

For some reason, I really feel like I should get back to work at 10am every morning starting next week. I should be lazy and start doing what I should be doing.

Some people lose concentration on their work because they have a jack ass as their bosses, but I lose concentration for no particular reasons and my boss is so friggin good.

But, I never complained about work. For some reason, I never complained about work. Well, the reasons are very clear, it's because I can enjoy life, travel and never got scolded by boss in my work at all! I think for the year and a half I'm in this company I never got scolded by my boss EVER. He lectured me about once or twice. Then nothing! And he dare dare send me outstation for work when he knew what a lazy asshole I am!

Why he placed so much trust in me, I have no idea at all. How can you trust a lazy ass like me? Sigh. I've no idea man.

I really really glad that i have such a great boss. That is why I will only leave the company if he leave (which he will not) or if he retires. I hope he won't retire soon. T____T Coz I think only this company wants to hire me.

I think I did not appreciate my opportunity enough. That is why I'm turning over to a new leaf and gonna live a new life starting next week.

I hope my vision is not temporarily this time. I just need to discipline back. The discipline I had when I first started this job. I think I fell into the comfort zone, that's why I'm so laid back now.

Anyhoo, I'm heading back to work now. Need to finish up an article.

Have a good evening all.Wow, it has been long since a long written post like this. ;D 


:: stitched on` ::*|20:25|

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