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Friday, 19 February 2010

[ ..tick tock tick.. ]

I is bored.

But thank cat for being bored coz I really has no mood to do any typing. Okay la, very stupid to say I no mood do typing while I'm typing all the way here. =P

But yea what I mean is that I really no mood want to type any work related thingy.

Really stressed up with all the protocol, with all the spellings, grammar and what-not. I seriously has no training in this field therefore my writing is piece of crap, I know.

I don't know how to use bombastic words. My vocabulary is super limited. Now I wished I had paid more attention during my school years. You remember the Vocabulary exercise book your teacher asked you to keep?

Man, I wished I really learn more words back then because I am really lazy to do all the learning now.

You know what? I think I really wanna write a short story or a novel now. I need to get back to my creative side before I lost it all. I am not the most creative person I know. In fact, my creativity is super limited.

I got plenty of ideas. They are all floating in my brain, waiting for me to release them all. But somehow, when I picked up my pen, pencil or start typing on the keyboard, I lose it all.

Most of the time, it is all about 'don't know how to start'.

Sigh.

I wanna pick up my painting again. I wanna take all my watercolour supplies from hometown and bring them all here.

My brother's friend gave him a violin. I looked at the violin and tempted to enroll myself to some music class nearby to learn how to play the violin.

My sister is bringing my dad to Beijing soon and I wanna go with them for the sake of my lomography.

I looked at my car and feel like taking a long ride in the highway to some other place with a friend or two.

Sister said next year she might wanna bringing mom to Hongkong and I wanna go with them for the sake of my lomography wtf.

I promised Cheesie that I will go to Japan Homestay next year. Demo...

...Brother's drummer is a Japanese who will be going back to Japan for studies next year and bro said he might wanna go there stay at his house and asked me to come.

Now I am torn between Cheesie and Brother. FML.

I wanna go to Bangkok this year because I want shopping and for the sake of my lomography.

Conclusion of all my ramblings now is that : So many things to do, so many place to go but not enough money.


SIGH!


Sometimes I wish I am much more capable than I am now.

Most of the time I don't feel like I am capable of anything. But once in a while when people recognise what I wrote and told me that I did a good job it cheers me up and made me realised that I might not be as bad as I thought of myself.

I never thought that I could be doing what I dreamt of doing a couple years ago. That was because I knew that my writing is horrible. Damn plain and unimaginative. My grammar and vocabulary is horrendous. My writing is not interesting.

By the way, I am very very tempted to call Mrs. Shirley Ong and tell her what am I doing now. That might cheer her up. She is the main reason on why I am doing what I am doing now. I love her so much!

But a side of me are very very worried that she might not even remember who I am anymore because I am not exactly the popular girl in school. She still remember me back in 2007 but that was 3 years ago.

I really wanna tell her about me and make her proud. Sigh.

I am really hoping that life could be easier from now on. I really hope that this year could be a lot better than last.

But I can assure you that now is definitely better than last month and beginning of this.

I hope it will stay this way and hey, gotta be greedy to say that hope everything will be a lot more better than now!

^^

Zodiac people said that those who were born in the year of Snake will have a good year. And financially stable! =D That's the words I love most. Financially stable! Hehe.

Time flies really fast eh? It's gonna be March already. It's really fast and soon enough my birthday will be near.

I never had any problem with growing up. Because that is exactly what I wanna do, since I was 5. I still remember how I always asked my parents when will I be an adult like my eldest sister, although she was just a young adolescent back then.

Even until now, I will still ask myself, when will I be like my eldest sister.

Growing up means a lot to me. All I ever wanted my whole life is that people will take me seriously. Me being the youngest in the family or being young means no one will take my opinions, no one will ever listen to what I have to say.

I have no right in making decisions, no right in doing what I want to do the most.

But until today, I still have no right to say what I want to say or do what I want to do. I fucking hate this. Me being the youngest doesn't mean that all of you own my life.

I should be left alone to decide everything and let me make my own mistakes. Trials and errors! Is it so difficult to understand that?

No use protecting me all my life. I always feel like I cannot breathe.

Well, I think this is all I have to say. I reeeally wanna post something cheerful.

Maybe one day I will tell you the story of how I found my cat, Shiro-kyun. =D My gosh, his life is so interesting, I think I can make it into a few parts. xD

Neways, have a great day all. It's Friday after all. Go and have some fun. ^^

Suwa..

:: stitched on` ::*|11:13|

:: [0] care[s] ::

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:: ..it is me.. ::
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suwas.jpg
Ailurophile. Irascible. Desultory. Furtive.

Me

:: ..Type Here.. ::
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:: ..pages i stalk.. ::
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..queen of mushrooms..
..best page on earth..


:: ..Tick Tock.. :: --------------------------------------

:: ..Calender 2013.. ::

June
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::..Wishes.. ::
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~ eternal financial stability, bitch
~ Tokyo solo 2013
~ to Japan, I go for second time!
~ to Japan, I go!
~ Canon G12
~ Superheadz Ultra Wide and Slim!
~ Superheadz Golden Half!
~ new camera!
~ a studio home
~ publish a novel/short stories compilation


:: ..Crédits.. ::
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Blog Désign: Michiika
Photo: SuuwaXSupatenshi